Jan 29, 2018
We've all had experiences trying to talk to people who are angry. It's hard to get your point across.
There are 3 keys to getting someone into a place where you can talk. The brain likes things to be fair. It doesn't understand life isn't fair. In one study, a rock was handed to a monkey who then was require to hand the rock back. They would be rewarded with a cucumber.
The next monkey was rewarded with a grape. The first monkey immediately saw that as unfair. It would get angry. Anger is a way the brain tries to restore fairness.
Keep that in mind when you're talking to someone who is angry. The're looking for fairness.
Key 1: Tone- Our tone has to adjust to reach this person. If our tone is off, then they'll be more upset and feel treated even more unfairly.
Key 2: Acknowledge something isn't fair. Watch their facial features when you acknowledge their anger. Everything changes. They don't have to use anger anymore.
Key 3: Invite the person to elaborate. Say "I can see that doesn't seem fair. Tell me about it". Let them talk about it.
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