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Counseling On Demand

Jan 29, 2018

We've all had experiences trying to talk to people who are angry.  It's hard to get your point across.

There are 3 keys to getting someone into a place where you can talk.  The brain likes things to be fair.  It doesn't understand life isn't fair.  In one study, a rock was handed to a monkey who then was require to hand the rock back. They would be rewarded with a cucumber.

The next monkey was rewarded with a grape. The first monkey immediately saw that as unfair.  It would get angry.  Anger is a way the brain tries to restore fairness.

Keep that in mind when you're talking to someone who is angry.  The're looking for fairness.

Key 1: Tone- Our tone has to adjust to reach this person.  If our tone is off, then they'll be more upset and feel treated even more unfairly.

Key 2: Acknowledge something isn't fair.  Watch their facial features when you acknowledge their anger.  Everything changes.  They don't have to use anger anymore.

Key 3: Invite the person to elaborate.  Say "I can see that doesn't seem fair.  Tell me about it".  Let them talk about it.

Counseling on Demand offers expert level family and marriage counseling.  We all know that raising children and maintaining relationships can be tough.  Whether you're dealing with divorce, separation, abuse, or are just trying to get your family running at top speed, these episodes are invaluable. 

Counseling on Demand is helpful for keeping your mental health strong.  There is also great information for dealing with depression.  You can find Fred Riley him at Riley Individual, Family, and Marriage Counseling